ELECTRICAL EXORCIST
Some days I think that appliances are haunted,
Weird things can occur in our life,
I keep telling myself its no use to be daunted,
It can’t be just me and my wife.
Some of the appliances we have bought to assist,
Sometimes work, and sometimes don’t,
Why can’t they just do the work I insist?
Not maybe I will or I won’t.
Our washing machine must have a built in program,
To eat and devour a sock,
It may look as meek and gentle as a lamb,
But one sock gets beamed up with Spock.
I’m certain the Hoover has a mind of its own,
And one of these day’s I will chuck,
When some day’s it works, it goes it alone,
The next day it refuses to suck.
The iron may work sometimes like a dream,
Suddenly it spits and spurts,
When my wife gives out a very loud scream,
She’s burnt her hand and it hurts.
I put on the shower it’s all lovely and warm,
Then it decides to turn on the cold,
So you turn the hot up and await the storm,
It gets so hot it turns to scold.
The toaster does bread so good in the morning;
We never use it for afternoon tea,
It is crafty then, it attacks without warning,
Ejecting slices all over me.
We were watching a movie starring Lauren Hutton,
The TV also has a mind of its own,
The volume is low so I reach for a button,
And it changes to Home Alone
Some days I think that appliances are haunted,
Weird things can occur in our life,
I keep telling myself its no use to be daunted,
It can’t be just me and my wife.
Some of the appliances we have bought to assist,
Sometimes work, and sometimes don’t,
Why can’t they just do the work I insist?
Not maybe I will or I won’t.
Our washing machine must have a built in program,
To eat and devour a sock,
It may look as meek and gentle as a lamb,
But one sock gets beamed up with Spock.
I’m certain the Hoover has a mind of its own,
And one of these day’s I will chuck,
When some day’s it works, it goes it alone,
The next day it refuses to suck.
The iron may work sometimes like a dream,
Suddenly it spits and spurts,
When my wife gives out a very loud scream,
She’s burnt her hand and it hurts.
I put on the shower it’s all lovely and warm,
Then it decides to turn on the cold,
So you turn the hot up and await the storm,
It gets so hot it turns to scold.
The toaster does bread so good in the morning;
We never use it for afternoon tea,
It is crafty then, it attacks without warning,
Ejecting slices all over me.
We were watching a movie starring Lauren Hutton,
The TV also has a mind of its own,
The volume is low so I reach for a button,
And it changes to Home Alone
Oh, do these things only happen to me,
Or is it a way of life,
The answer may be easy for others to see,
But I’m fed up with all of this strife.
Can anyone please tell me where it is I can find,
An exorcist to free my appliance,
When I can leave all my troubles and woes behind,
Or are we stuck with Modern Science?
By
JOHN HAMPSON
© Copyright Reserved 2009
Or is it a way of life,
The answer may be easy for others to see,
But I’m fed up with all of this strife.
Can anyone please tell me where it is I can find,
An exorcist to free my appliance,
When I can leave all my troubles and woes behind,
Or are we stuck with Modern Science?
By
JOHN HAMPSON
© Copyright Reserved 2009
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